Its been two months since that unfortunate day..but the pain is absolutely the same, infact growing everyday..nothing helps...

I still am not able to accept it...seems i'll open my eyes and whatever i am going through would turn out to be a nightmare...life is like a living hell these days

i dont know if whatever i am doing is right..i am so disgusted and i feel so pathetic at my own self..how can i let her die like that...she is so precious to me..my little angel..i love her.....i can still remember the desire i had, to have a girl of my own when i was a kid myself....

I cant let her go like that but a t the same time i cant let her live and suffer..  i know i cant give her the life she should be living... i just cant imagine her plight as somebody who is not able to think on her own or take care of herself ....i just cant imagine her being used as somebody either to be cursed or show sympathy to, when i am gone....

sometimes i feel i am being overtly practical, but is being practical wrong...

whenver she sees me after i get back home, her eyes shine and those eyes...i avoid looking into them ...they make me uncomfortable...

this fight of head and heart is constantly there ...

perhaps this was meant to be...but I still wonder, what did my angel and i do for this....????